When you drop your child off at college, do not treat the day like a high-stakes logistics mission or another darn thing on your ‘to-do list’. Instead, see the day as a rare opportunity to slow down, be present, speak highly of people, showcase manners, and create lasting memories.

As a former faculty member, I’ve watched thousands of college students arrive on campuses. The students who thrive—academically, socially, and emotionally—follow a few core habits. To set your student up for genuine success, try these (they’re quick this year and stream-of-consciousness-y, but I promise to update them).

1. Safety, Logistics, and Boundary Setting
Establish foundational safety measures and practical guardrails before handing over the residence hall keys.

Set Up the “No-Questions-Asked” Ride Policy: Ensure your student installs Uber or Lyft on their phone. Tell them explicitly: if discomfort arises, or if they suspect their driver lacks sobriety (even slightly), you will fund their ride home. Should they request reimbursement later, ask zero questions beyond, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Build and Share Emergency Contact Cards: On your phone, build complete contact cards for Campus Police, the local Police Department, the Sheriff’s Office, and nearby hospitals (including direct phone numbers and physical addresses). Create a card for 988 (National Suicide Prevention Hotline) and another for the local or state hotlines. If your phone lets you add images to contact cards, do that too! Share these contact cards directly to their phone; that way, if they need the numbers, they have them, and heaven forbid, if any of those places call you, you’ll know who is calling and answer it immediately.

Talk Openly About Finances: Share transparent details about the weekly or monthly financial support you can provide, even if that figure is zero. Embarrassment has no place in this conversation; clarity reveals whether they must secure a campus job immediately. Frame financial support as an ongoing dialogue for the coming years and remind them that circumstances shift.

Establish the “Last Resort” Rule: Encourage your student to solve problems independently. Reassure them of your love and your desire to help but position yourself as their absolute last resort rather than their first impulse during a crisis.

Decide on Communication Frequency: Encourage them to reach out sparingly. Try not to be too much of a social, emotional, academic crutch, so that they work on flourishing in different and new environments.

2. The Human Element: Building Community
College centers less on the degree awarded at graduation and more on the personal transformation that occurs along the way. The social habits students establish during week one shape their four-year trajectory.

Practice Awkward Introductions: Direct your student to sit next to new peers in class and during meals, introduce themselves, and put away their smartphones. Though awkwardness will inevitably follow, learning from peers constitutes half the value of tuition. Urge them to show genuine curiosity, ask questions, and rehearse these conversations until the habit takes root. Neglecting this practice early makes forming friendships exponentially harder over time.

Calculate Campus Value: Sit down together and calculate the true financial cost of skipping a dining hall meal—and remind them of the physical and emotional cost as well. Next, calculate the exact cost of their education down to the hour and minute (factoring in tuition, university fees, room, board, and transportation calculated at $0.80 per mile). Keeping that number in mind encourages them to extract maximum value from every resource, class, and campus opportunity.

Shift Travel Logistics: When breaks arrive, resist the urge to manage their travel arrangements. Avoid booking their transportation. Instead, establish a deadline for them to share their travel plans with you, and teach them to navigate ride boards, public transit, carpools, or ticket purchases. Your parents did not arrange your trips home; navigating logistics builds essential independence.

3. Mastering the Classroom
Success in college academics relies rarely on innate intelligence and heavily on discipline and etiquette.

Handwrite Every Note: Urge your student to take handwritten notes in every class, using either a traditional notebook or a digital stylus on a tablet (such as an iPad or a ReMarkable). Scholarly research consistently demonstrates that handwriting enhances focus and retention. Advise them to record questions as ideas arise, even if they never ask those questions aloud.

“Ctrl+F” and the Syllabus: Before emailing an instructor with questions about assignments or course expectations, your student should execute a Ctrl+F search within the syllabus. The syllabus almost always contains the answer.

Master Faculty Etiquette: Instruct your student to acknowledge the instructor when leaving class by saying, “Thank you, Professor X” or “Dr. Y.” Ensure they understand that a Ph.D. following a name warrants the title “Dr.” When uncertainty exists, default to “Professor”—and never use Ms., Miss, Mrs., or Mr. unless the instructor explicitly requests that form of address.

Attend Office Hours Early: Require your student to visit every professor’s office hours at least once within the first two weeks. Instruct them to shake hands, introduce themselves, ask a specific question about the course or the professor’s research, stay five to ten minutes, and thank the professor for their time.

Adopt the 3-to-1 Study Ratio: For every three-credit-hour class, students should dedicate at least three hours weekly to independent study. Remind them that completing assigned homework differs fundamentally from actual studying.

Build a Nightly Reflection Routine: Several hours after classes conclude each evening, instruct your student to open their notebook and write a brief summary addressing one core question: What constituted the most vital concept from today’s lecture, discussion, or lab?

Control Smartphone Use: Show them how to configure the Focus Feature on their phone to silence all notifications during class, while setting up a slightly flexible focus mode for study hours. Remind them that older generations—particularly faculty members—view phone use during class as deeply rude and disrespectful. After leaving the classroom, advise them to process what they just heard rather than immediately reaching for their device. Suggest they talk to someone on the way out about what was interesting or cool or ask the other person what they liked from the day’s class.

4. Health, Well-Being, and Gratitude
Academic success collapses quickly without physical and mental stability.

Protect Sleep Hygiene: Sleep directly governs mental health, social capacity, and academic execution. Warn your student that drastically changing their sleep schedule on weekends creates artificial jet lag every week.

Prioritize Hydration and Physical Activity: Stay properly hydrated, minimize reliance on caffeine and stimulants, and build exercise, intramural sports, faith communities, or campus organizations into daily life.

Avoid Napping in Dorm Rooms: No naps or returning to the room during the day. Treat the academic day like a professional workday—identify quiet study nooks, library spaces, or coffee shops across campus to use between classes.

Cultivate Daily Gratitude: Teach your student to write detailed, sincere, handwritten thank-you notes to anyone who assists them—especially faculty members who write letters of recommendation or offer extra guidance. Encourage them to acknowledge everyone they pass: thank dining hall staff, custodial workers maintaining the buildings, and groundskeepers beautifying the campus.

Embrace Discomfort: Remind them that not having immediate answers is entirely acceptable. Personal growth requires discomfort. High school focuses on gaining admission to college; college focuses on discovering unexplored fields, intellectual paths, and unexpected careers.

You and your family can do this! Slow down, be present, and you’ll do it better than others and foster strong, burgeoning adult relationships with your child.

Part II – Coming Soon – The emotional terrain of Move-In Day: necessary tools, room setup, family dynamics, and a meaningful farewell.

This story previously appeared on the author’s Substack account https://substack.com/@cowborian

Reprinted with permission of the author.

Brian S. Collier, Ph.D.

Columnist

Born and raised in South Bend, Indiana, Collier is a graduate of South Bend public schools. Collier taught high school for four years before earning a Ph.D., then taught college in Arizona, Michigan, and Indiana. He is now again teaching high school locally.

Collier signed on to serve on the editorial board and as an occasional contributor to Redress, hoping to help provide a liberal perspective on issues in his hometown and the region. While local 'liberals' may not feel heard, Collier feels like both parties are so far from where they were when he was a child that they wouldn't possibly recognize their modern iterations.

Collier feels strongly that South Bend lacks actual leadership, shows cowardice, and prioritizes conveniences and business interests over citizen needs, and is a proxy for petty vendettas and a lack of real, sustainable policy. Collier fears for the future of St. Joseph County, Michiana, and America, and the very real chance that the American experiment ends during his lifetime due to partisan nonsense and the public's inability to even see other perspectives.

Advice from a Former Professor: Part I – Things to Do and Know

Brian S. Collier, Ph.D.

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